I Will Follow
When I first crafted my purpose statement, I copied it into a notebook. If I could have formed into a tangible item to hold onto like a smooth stone in my hands, I would have. Copying it to a journal page, onto the inside cover of every journal since, is the closest thing that resembles a rock of remembrance. It seems an important word picture to keep before me. Two years later, it continues to manifest, growing up like green shoots of promise where living water has soaked me through.
Once I launched Green Wilderness, I felt nervous, but eager. My ego came for times to tell me that it was a noble endeavor, and the wrong kind of pride reared its head. I wanted to invite others to join me in the wide expanse of Everything Isn’t Tied Up Neatly, the Purple Places in the center of the red and blue. This space, the green wilderness where it can be dry and barren as well as full of hope and growth, is not the place where everyone wants to live. I believed, and do believe, that it is the exact place I belong, even with a frequent temptation to run and hide.
Right alongside my penned statement, the choice to do or quit is ever before me. Since the words to my purpose statement came together in my LifePlan binder, the primary lesson taught in the classroom of my heart is about doing things afraid and doing them for an audience of one.
If I move my heart away from the love of God for even a moment, what I hear is that the risk is too great, that being popular is more valuable that being purposeful. I see the guards on the edges, with their sharp swords drawing the lines in the sand. They tell me to watch my tongue, to hold my tongue.
But if I’m grounded and centered, I hear Jesus. My eyes follow the silhouette of him, his body outlined by golden hour light, and I see his arm motioning me forward. He’s calling me to join him out in the wilderness places, where adventure waits, where the terrain can get dodgy at times. And if Jesus beckons me, I sure as shooting don’t want to delay.
I exist to excavate truth and beauty, to fight for justice and mercy, to foster integration and sensitivity, so that others may experience wholeness and give their own voice to bear witness to the author and completer of our stories. I exist to make pathways in the wilderness and be an agent of change.